He loves me, he loves me not...

I remember sitting on the field at my Elementary school, plucking the flowers off a small white daisy...

Daydreaming about the boy I had a crush on, romanticizing and fantasizing love.

And then the harsh reality of what a relationship actually looks like hit me like a ton of bricks.

Wait... so there is no knight in shining armour?

WAKE UP SLEEPING BEAUTY! JK He really should have let her sleep.

What is romance?

It is a phenomenon. A Disney depiction of what love "SHOULD" feel like. A fantasy.

Rob yourself of the social conditioning. No one is coming to "save you" dear princess.

So how do you create a romantic relationship if you've shed that identity of Disney Drama?

Consciously.

You co-create a world where two people are whole and complete and can make magic together. No disney do-do... just Conscious Loving (read the book)

Now do I believe it exists? Yes. Have I experienced it myself? Almost (so not yet).

However, I understand it and am ready for it. I do shadow work and am ready to share my triggers with a partner that can also acknowledge their own. Using these as tools to develop an intimate, authentic. and loving connection from a place. of wholeness and integrity.

*sigh* One day, some day.

For now, I sit with my little white daisy. Pondering the question I've been asking myself for the last four months.

Does he "love" me? Or does he love me not?

Whitney said it best... how will I know?

Only time will tell. Is that why Disney wrote the song "Tale as old as time"?

Oof. Rabbit hole happenings...

xo

-M